Wednesday, October 7, 2020


 We sure know that parenting a teenager can be like lassoing a volcano!


Want to be less tired?

If you’re like too many parents, you dread waking up each morning and dealing with the unpredictabilities and even animosity spewing from your teenager.

Here’s a thought

– the wisest reply to ALMOST EVERY teen issue – is to ASK - -


“why do you say that?”

“why do you think that?”

“what tells you that or supports that?” from you past [experience]

WHY is this universally powerful?

Because (1) we frequently reply to issues – THINKING we know what they’re thinking and we reply to that – and we are often wrong.

And sometimes, even if we’re right. a teen will tell us we’re wrong, just to disagree!

Secondly, by subtly asking them to explain their thinking, it causes them to reflect on THEIR OWN thoughts and thinking

Thirdly – it often diminishes the venom and anger they may be feeling

Fourth – it gives you time to consider and plan YOUR REPLY [which very often, is another question]

So the keys are:

·         Pause [take a breath, release any emotion]

·         Gently ask WHY _____?

·         Follow up in a low-key manner with no [negative] emotion,

·         maybe with a non-commital  “That’s interesting…”

·         OR “that’s an interesting thought – thanks for explaining”

BTW – the minute you make it a debate or argument, even if you win, you lose!

Think long-term vs. short-term.  Do you really need to in this debate or issue?

We learn most from our mistakes – allow them their mistake-making leeway. 

In a huge proportion of cases, they’ll come back, with love!

Questions or comments?


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