Have you – as have I - grown weary of that expression?
And yet - it may have a lot more immediate relevance and value than we thought.
With no school for weeks/ months, and if the pandemic quarantine keeps them at home, these poor kids – and their parents – could benefit from a ‘new normal’
I see and read and note parent’s annoyance and aggravation by and from their teenagers constantly. And what occurred to me after the first few hundred such readings was that, with a moderately simple “pivot” [there’s another new/ popular term] – any parent can change - AND IMPROVE! their teen paradox!
1. CHANGE your expectations! In far too many instances, parent’s expectations of behaviors and choices of their teens are simply not realistic in a world far different than when they were teens. Question your expectations – and even discuss them with your teen!
2. ASK, DON’T TELL. By this age, teenagers are SO TIRED of being TOLD what to do and when to do it. Why not reverse your paradigm – make it a dialogue – a two-way, mutually respectful communication. Trust me – it works! [LISTEN to them!]
Next, try to get them involved in their own dream goal pursuit. In our coaching of teenagers, we’ve found that as soon as their focus is NO LONGER what the teacher said, or what Mom or Dad want them to do – and is replaced by pursuit of their OWN personal dreams and goals, their self-motivation takes over – and their internal stress and outward hostility DECREASES!!
So – what am I saying? Invite or suggest that they brainstorm EVERYTHING they ever hope to achieve, possess become or experience – IN ANY AREA(S) of life.
Then, be prepared with several suggested questions and actions they might pursue. As in all these suggestions – make it a fun project, NOT an assignment. If done right, it’s ALL ABOUT THEM – and that motivates and inspires ALL OF US!!
One other great exercise arising from their Dream list – truly for the whole family, if you’d like: create, develop a Visualization Board.
I did my first one many year ago – at a sales meeting with more than 100 people in the room. We had a great time, each doing his own – but contributing or making suggestions to others - as you should.
If you’re interested, we have questions and a process we can recommend – for Questioning, for Dream List and for Visualization Board - just ask! And of course, there’s no charge nor fee! 😎