NOT TRUE! ['just live with it']
Far too many people accept the false wisdom that that's just the way teenagers are. You can’t do anything about it – you just have to live with it. WRONG!
With a relatively small ‘pivot’ – you can easily and substantially change the situation, your home life and your teenager’s life!
1. Don’t argue
2. ASK, DON’T TELL
3. Develop a mindset in which you
(b) laugh gently, if appropriate – OR show no emotion nor facial expression;
(c) ASK, gently, “I’m not sure I follow – tell me more about why you think that.”
4. USE that information to more wisely reply and DISCUSS your reasoning and needed decision.
5. Be comfortable in making a solid decision if and as needed – remembering that a consensually agreed-to decision is always easiest to enforce – because they had buy-in to it!
6. EMPHASIZE that you are REALLY trying to listen and understand – but that your ultimate concern is their safety and life, even if it’s a painful decision.
7. Define consequences of breaking this rule in your mind BEFORE the conversation begins.
8. If the decision or rule is broken, YOU MUST enforce it! If you don’t, they will see you as weak.
9. If that rule is broken again, administer predefined MORE STRENUOUS consequences
Be EXTREMELY CONSCIOUS and aware: with all the freedoms teens have, the more authoritative and domineering the atmosphere you create, the more defiant they will be.
AND IN OUR NEXT EPISODE, we’ll discuss the most frequent or aggravating things your teen does or doesn’t do: Laziness; Homework/ schoolwork; Screen time/ games; Unpleasant, possibly nasty; Messy bedroom; Clothes strewn around bedroom, not put away,