Monday, November 25, 2019


A WEEK AGO, we posted a blog about ‘reversing your paradigm:’ - that is, when your teen defies you, surprise them by using a different approach.  Today, we have some suggested replies.  Use them as YOU prefer, or adapt to your family’s culture.

OF COURSE, these are based around the premise that you’ve already had heart-to-heart conversations and respected your teen’s time and issues – yet they still defy your requests.  

“Please take the trash out”
·         NO REPLY or says “no.”
1.      OK, I’ll do it [take only your own, not theirs]
2.      Say nothing, do nothing.
3.      Next request or issue from them: SAY NOTHING, DO NOTHING, IGNORE.
4.      [you could always dump the trash in their room – but that would be tacky L ]

“Please get up, to get to school on time”
·         NO REPLY or says “no.”
1.      OK, I’ll send a note to the principal explaining that you’re now on your own – I take no responsibility – nor will I feed you, you have no access to OUR food, you have no transportation – no rides, no allowance…”
2.      Do not reply at all – when they finally arise, no breakfast nor food available, no ride to school, etc.
3.      Say nothing, do nothing.

“Please empty the dishwasher”
·         NO REPLY or says “no.”
·         Separate his/her dishes, leave – uncleaned –on counter or even back porch/ deck
·         [use, select any one of the replies above – or be even more creative!]

“Please put the game controller away and start studying…”                 
·         NO REPLY or says “no.”
1.      Cut off all cable or WI-FI or electricity to the controller
2.      [use, select any one of the replies above – or be even more creative!]

OF COURSE all of these rely on your strength and emotional capacity.

Please don’t retreat to “I could never do that to my kid.” They respect strength – and if they continue to ‘walk all over you’ – it will only get worse. L

Please feel free to add, insert or modify your own – and post here!

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